Dear WordPress,
Remember that time I spent days getting you just right? Remember how I tweaked every little pixel, molded your PHP, your CSS, your JavaScript? I gave you my heart. And you’ve completely thrown it on the floor and stomped on it.
Ok, I realize I may have stopped updating you for a bit. Maybe I should have paid more attention to you, and less attention to my new job, or my new fiancée. Maybe I should have traveled less. But that’s all behind us now. I am looking at the future.
Or am I? How can I consider a future with you, my dear blogging software, when you keep screwing me over here. First your iPhone app loses posts randomly, removes UI elements when it feels like it, and ultimately breaks. That was hard to take. I wrote out a nice long rant about it. But I hit delete. Why? Because I felt it wasn’t worth the anger. It was time to move past it.
But now – now I must speak up. You ask me to update you to 2.8. Easy! I click a button, I wait a few minutes. Just like that, you’re as good as new. But perhaps you’re TOO new! Where is the overly-muted black and white theme? Where is the skinnier-than-necessary Chalet Nineteen Sixty typeface (implemented via sIFR)? I spend all this time morphing you in to what I want in a blog, and you go off and do your own thing.
Of course, there’s nothing I can do but go back to the beginning now. Pick up the pieces. I won’t be switching to MoveableType or Tumblr or the like. They may be better. But I will never know. I’ve commited myself to this relationship. My only request is that, this time – please – get your shit straight and behave.
Because I love you. I do. But only when you do what I say.
Lovingly yours,
Gabi.
I learned this one the hard way, too. Always name your theme folder something other than “default.”