I badmouth this town a lot. I’m not from here, so it’s easy.

The weather is cold (like I grew up in a tropical paradise?). The sports fans are near sycophantic (and no, that’s not better than the bitterness I grew up with). The drivers are schizophrenic (ok, sure, there’s reason they called I-76 Schuylkill Expressway the “Sure Kill Expressway“). I won’t complain about the politics though…there’s really no contest there.

But the truth is, it’s a beautiful city. It’s got a skyline that defines but doesn’t smother. The river and harbor weaves through the town, providing water views to nearly every window above five stories. And it is, I admit, my home of eight and a half years.

So when I saw the NYTimes put up a great travel review of the harbor front, I found myself getting chills (and not, for once, due to the temperature). From the neighborhood in which I live, to the path on which I run, and even the place at which I’m going to get married (to a home-town girl, of course) – I like it here.

I could also pretend I have an audience.

In fact, over the past six months of near blog dormancy, I have had quite the audience – at least if the comment moderation queue is any indication. These dear readers have been very helpful. Many offer free drugs. Some provide sex advice. But perhaps the most valuable comments come in the form of a free joke (followed, of course, by a link to ch3ap v1agr@!!!11).

Over the next few weeks, as holiday schedules hopefully provide a slow down to day job related chaos, I’ll be posting some work and other notes. I’ll cover Digital Out-of-home, Arduino, some photography work, and some other topics. I may even add a captcha to my comments form.

For now, however, here is as complete a list I can compile of the jokes left in my comments over the past few months…after the break.

Why can’t a woman ask her brother for help? Because he can’t be a brother and assist her too.

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite.

Why do Vampire have to brush their teeth? Because they have Bat-Breath.

When should you use milk to irrigate your fields? When you are growing creamed corn.

What kind of flowers grow in outer space? Sunflowers.

What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t work? A stick.

What do you call a crazy baker? A dough nut.

What do ghouls wear on their feet in the rain?!? GHOULOSHES!!!

What kind of lettuce was served on the Titanic? Iceberg.

Why are there so many Johnsons in the phone book? They all have phones.

Why did the bunnies go on strike? They wanted a raise in celery.

What’s a chimney sweep’s most common ailment? The flue.

What do you get when you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo? An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.

Where does all the pepper go? No one nose.

Why did the cannibal rush over to the cafeteria? He heard children were half price.

What is a cannibal’s favorite type of TV show? A celebrity roast.

How do they put out fires at the post office? They stamp them out.

How many Microsoft employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. We’ll just declare darkness the new standard.

What do you call it when instead of raining cats and dogs, it rains chickens, ducks and turkeys? Fowl Weather!

What kind of necktie does a pig wear? A pigsty.

Why is an evil witch like a candle? They are both WICKED

What kind of bird can write? A penguin.

Did you hear about the man who was tap dancing? He broke his ankle when he fell into the sink.

What do you call bedtime stories for boats? Ferry tales.

What did the painter say to the wall? One more crack and I’ll plaster you!

What do you call a bunch of dancing pebbles? The Rockettes.

What do you call a knife that cuts 4 loaves of bread at a time? A four-loaf cleaver.

- Launched Stride on MTVTimesSquare last week. Send your message/photo to MTV’s 42ft screen (Broadway btwn 44th and 45th). Then get a ‘memento’ screenshot of what it [probably] looked like. Legalese and logistics have forced this one to be kept under wraps for a while now. Hopefully we have the opportunity to improve the whole concept as it runs.

- Posting and processing my latest shots to my Flickr account last week reminded me how much I miss taking daily photographs. Doubt I will get back to that frequency, but need to make sure I keep the camera with me more often.

- Have moved to XCode for my Arduino development. Struggling significantly with decoding IR messages from the Apple Remote. Speaking of homebrew-geekiness, congrats to Mr. Saunders for some great recent work.

- Wedding planning is flying, thanks to my wonderful partner in crime. Have some initial pages posted to sg.weds.gs. Starting to think about the registry now. Extremely conflicted on this part. More on that in the future.

- Finally, I leave you with a relevant shot, taken this weekend. Sixty-three years of marriage. And counting. Too bad I’m marrying into this family; I could certainly use some of those genes.

Digital out of home (DOOH) will provide exposure to a lot of the technologies I enjoy working with, and through a delivery mechanism that’s growing in popularity and innovation.

For more on what LocaModa does, check their site and blog.

LocaModa's Jumbli game playing in Times Square

The truth is I think I’ve been avoiding this because I was nervous I’d get it wrong. The entire trip was only 48 hours long, but from the moment we arrived at the airport in Boston, we knew this was something important.

Anyway – here we go. Feel free to skim, just watch the videos, leave comments (regarding the event, my vanity, or your disappointment in the Eagles).

Monday Night

We got to DC around 9pm after an extremely thorough security screening in Boston. Our flight down was full but smooth – two things that would pretty much explain the crowd situation for the rest of the trip. After checking with a very nervous high-school-aged-airport-info-booth-attendant (I’m not sure she was ready for the mass of people who had been approaching her over the previous few days), we grabbed the SuperShuttle into town.

We shared the shuttle with a young woman from Seattle (who had been traveling all day) and an older African American woman from Atlanta who had worked on Obama’s Georgia campaign. I mention her race only because she had taken part in marches as a teenager and the magnitude of Tuesday’s event was extremely evident in her eyes. She was excited, proud, and hopeful for however her story continues.

After some small talk with our shuttle-mates, we arrived at our location, Luke’s friend’s apartment on 3rd & G NE, just two blocks from Union Station. The celebration had started days earlier and we just joined in. We chatted with people from all over, including – coincidentally – a couple of guys who grew up in Upper Merion (the township next to mine in PA).

The other guys partied early into the morning while I opted to crash, as we had to be up early. We had agreed upon a 6:30am wakeup.

Tuesday Morning

By 6:25am, we were already late.

Our plan was a simple one. I had procured tickets to the parade route which meant – if we could get there before the parade gates closed at 2:00 – we could be guaranteed a seat to watch the new President walk from the Capitol to his new residence. That means we had probably 2 hours to get from the National Mall, where we would watch his speech, to the parade entrance. It was only 5 or so blocks.

I’d like to stop for a moment and mention that I have been in New York City when the Pope paraded down 5th Avenue. I have been in Dublin for St. Patrick’s Day (twice). I have been in Jerusalem for the high holidays. I figured, “how different could this possibly be?” Right.

These people were almost three hours ahead of us. CNN had footage of huge crowds taking over the Mall. We had to get a move on.

6am: Crowds

So we bundled up (I rocked the thermal tops and bottoms, a long sleever, jeans, a hoodie, and my winter coat) and hit the streets. The sun hadn’t come up yet so it was still pretty chilly – about 19 degrees.

At 7:00 we got to 3rd & D NW to this crowd:

7am: Waiting to get in

I can’t estimate how many people were there because I simply couldn’t see them all. The street was kept open for emergency vehicles, but we couldn’t see that, either. Periodically we were asked to take a few steps back to make sure that street was clear. I think that’s when I first got a little nervous about the crowd. I didn’t feel threatened, or that I had to get out. I was just…curious…to know if everyone would stay perfectly calm.

Gabe, our host (I referred to him as, “the other Gabriel”), asked around and figured out that we needed to face south on 3rd, under the Department of Labor overpass, because that’s where the security checkpoint was. So we maneuvered a bit and found ourselves a cozy spot to hang out.

Getting cozy

At 8:30 they opened the gates and we started to move in. I use the term “move” here loosely. Every 10 minutes or so we’d shuffle our feet forward – about a yard’s worth. There were a bunch of people who had silver colored tickets for the inauguration seating and were turned away. They had a different entrance. Oy. Fortunately, we weren’t lucky enough to have special tickets.

When I got to the front of this “line” I discovered that they were letting 10 people at a time through a 5 foot gate and on to another security checkpoint. In theory, it made sense: they were buffering the number of people bombarding those who had to pat us down, etc. In practice, it was nerve wracking. But – again – we had no panickers, no violence, no anger. Some people were frustrated with the wait – and we were all cold and tired – but there was clearly something bonding us all that kept us amicable.

I was surprised at the average age of the crowd; I’d put it at somewhere between 40 and 50. Most attendees were African American, the majority of whom were women (I’ve never seen so many fur coats in one place in my entire life). I guess I had expected it to be a huge crowd of 20-somethings, so it was exciting to take note of the diversity of the group.

Security was typical – they checked bags and patted down jackets. I would like to note here that I was carrying a camera with a wide-angle lens (for crowd shots) and had a large (about 8″ long, 4″ thick) zoom lens in my jacket for the parade shots. The guy patting me down had no clue I had that lens in there. It doesn’t matter, really – it’s just a lens. But really? You’re not even going to feel it and ask what it is? I dunno. A bit unsettling. At least we had snipers:

Sniper

Our first objective once we got in (after commiserating on the two hours we spent in the crowd) was food. On the way we passed the only protesters we’d see all day:

Protesters

Can you imagine how many protesters were there four years ago? Or at least a ratio of spectators to protesters? Amazing. These guys were mostly just laughed at. And why not? If you have a message that’s reasonable – give me a reason why government is failing you – then by all means. But “Obama is the Anti-Christ?” Thank you, First Amendment.

Our food choices were few. Burritos, burritos, or…water. I opted for the water and the NutriGrain bars that my wonderful roommate gave me as I was leaving for DC.

On our way to the Mall we passed our dedicated parade seats:

Parade seats

Awesome. I was excited for the opportunity to a) sit and b) sit that close to Obama, et al.

When we finally got to a place where we could stand on the Mall (after exiting through another security checkpoint…?) we were tired. We had another two hours until Obama would speak and our backs were hurting pretty bad. The thermals proved to be an excellent choice, as only my fingers and toes were about to freeze off.

But no one seemed to complain. We all kept standing and waiting. We had no idea how far we were from the beginning or end of the crowd, but we knew it was quite a distance. We could see a jumbo-tron pretty clearly, even though its audio was horribly out of sync. And we all clapped as the camera panned across the likes of Beyoncé and Bono.

It wasn’t until the dignitaries started arriving that it started to sink in. First it was random Congressmen (like Barney Frank and Ted Kennedy). Then the governors arrived (Schwarzenegger, Rendell). When the past presidents came through, Bill and Hillary got a huge applause. I wondered if the same size crowd would have showed up had she won. Probably not the same demographic, at least.

Colin Powell

When Bush 41 came out, no one wanted to clap…but we knew we shouldn’t boo. But when Cheney (whose wheel-chair-bound-surprise-appearance was really really creepy) and Bush 43 came out, it was fair game. Since I’ve returned some have told me we shouldn’t have booed. I disagree. We were there to say goodbye to the two of them . We had traveled from Boston, Atlanta, Seattle, Achorage, Honolulu, London, to watch a changing of the guard which we all made happen. We live in a representative republic…and we felt we hadn’t been represented for the past eight years. As such, we continued to let our voice be heard during this excellent opportunity.

Hello from AK

The Obamas’ arrival garnered the response one would expect.

The Ceremony

I understand the importance of religion in government. If man is to have faith in the 537 or so elected officials (Senate + House + Prez + VP), all human beings (at least this time around), then man will probably have faith in some sort of higher being. Rick Warren’s invocation was pretty intense, though. He referenced Christianity and Judaism (no Islam?)– but I still didn’t feel comfortable. It’s hard to explain this one, so I’ll leave it at that.

When Aretha Franklin got up to sing My Country ‘Tis of Thee I couldn’t help but think back to Game 4 of the 2008 World Series in Philadelphia. My brother Josh and I had been there and watched her mess up about half the words in the song. She was pretty bad here and the crowd knew it. We all just looked at each other…

I didn’t realize what had happened during Obama’s swearing in. At first I feared he had stumbled over his words– something he never does. But good thing he had a better knowledge of the oath of office than the Chief Justice.

Obama’s speech was superb. He said exactly what I wanted him to. He focused on the importance of education, on science, and on trust. He spoke of an outstretched hand to other nations, but warned that it did not exist if their hands fists stayed clenched. He told us to believe in our government again. And you know, I think that – right there at that point – we all did. I took a moment to look around at the crowd and the surroundings. Here we were, sandwiched between the Capitol, the Washington Monument, and the Smithsonian. Symbols of leadership and the rich history which built that leadership. Millions of us, all here to celebrate the same thing, and to do so peacefully. It was awesome– in the true sense of the word.

By the time Obama was done we were exhausted and I was excited to get to our parade route. This is when things got interesting.

The Exit

We didn’t get back to the apartment until 3pm. That’s right, we missed the parade seats altogether. And for that, I blame the Secret Service and the city of DC.

Our first movement towards the exit was blocked by metal barricades which we had to jump over. This proved problematic as the demographic I spoke of earlier were afraid to even try it. But the choice was jump or stand still. So we all helped each other. Even those who were in the clear path to the exit stopped and helped others over the barricades. It was tense but promising.

We took a right on Madison and headed towards the same checkpoint we went through on our way in. Nope. Closed.

So we turned around and went towards the Smithsonian where it looks like people were moving. Unfortunately, they weren’t. What they were doing is going to the edge of the museum’s balcony, realizing it was a dead end, and turning around. Here is where we took a break to rest a minute against the wall. It’s also where we were bad samaritans, watching as the crowd moved to the edge of the balcony, without telling them it was a dead end. What can I say, it was entertaining.

The other sight we got to see at this point was Bush and Cheney getting the hell out of dodge.

Goobye Bushies

After a brief stop, we got up and moved East towards the 14th street exit; that’s what the jumbo-trons told us to do (note that the huge screens were the only signs with any direction whatsoever– there weren’t even any National Guardsmen directing us. At one point we looked up and saw a minimal crowd around the Washington Monument. From afar, it looked like grazing cattle in the open field, while we were being herded for our demise.

Herding cattle

Alright, maybe that was a bit extreme.

So we took a left and went south towards 14th street on the other side of the Mall. Another left and all of a sudden we were in another crowd who had decided to follow in the wake that an ambulance, trying to get through to…somewhere. The problem was that there was another ambulance coming towards us, with a wake-following of its own. And to top it off, we had successfuly found another dead end. Everyone was to turn around.

Ambulence chasers

From there we went down 14th towards Virginia. We saw people going through an underpass. I thought there were steps and a footpath leading to them, but it just turned out to be a rocky hill. No go. We took the first exit off Rt 1 and went down Maine Ave towards I-395 where we picked up the highway tunnel under the capitol. We got off at the Massachusetts Ave (ironic) exit and finally collapsed on the floor of the apartment.

Rt. 1 to Virginia

I-395 Tunnel

We had missed the parade. Kind of. Turns out it hadn’t started yet, thanks to an unfortunate incident involving Ted Kennedy at the luncheon. At first I was frustrated that we could have still made it to our seats, but the Obamas stayed in their limo as they passed where our seats were. So turns out TV was a better view anyway. And I sure was tired.

Our full route ( 6.35 mi.):

View Larger Map

Wednesday

The next day Luke and I walked a great deal more to see a lot more of the sights. We caught the Washington Monument, the WWII Memorial, Reflecting Pool, Lincoln Memorial, and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial. We stopped by the National Archives and caught a glimpse of the Treaty of Paris, Magna Carta, Declaration of Independence, Bill of RIghts, and the Constitution. All extremely powerful documents. I should note how alarming it was to see how much the ink of these have faded. A bit unsettling.

Constitution

Declaration of Independence

We also walked by the Obamas’ new residence and then up to the Capitol building. This was unreal. It’s extremely powerful. The Supreme Court sits behind it, waiting to keep everyone in check (also where I said hello to Al Franken– by yelling out “Hey Mr. Franken!” – he just laughed).

White House

Capitol

Supreme Court

Our trip home was not nearly as festive as our way down. There were bigger crowds, including a plethora of high school students, one of whom just had to recline her seat into my knees.

But lanky legs aside, I’ll be going back to DC soon. There’s more to see. And while the excitement of the inauguration won’t be present, the even greater excitement of an improved government will.

As made evident by the length of this post, it’s difficult to summarize how I felt as I stood there on 01/20/09, watching history. So I think I’ll leave you with two things. The first is my reaction to the city of DC and the Capitol building which I posted on Flickr on 1/22. The second is my favorite line from President Obama’s speech.

Say what you will about the parts of our government that are broken. But everywhere we went, we felt the purpose of this city.

The beautiful structure looms over the entire city, its significance as the engine that keeps our country going is not easily forgotten.

Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths.